Aug 12, 2019
EP 59: Let go of your Kung-Fu Grip
Expectation is the root of all heartache – William Shakespeare
Want something so badly, you force It and squeeze it to death. Have you been there? I have too. In our relationships, in our expectations of others, in the outcome, and our desires. We squeeze it to death.
So how do you let go of your kung fu grip and detach from something you really want?
Our dreams, our identities, our ambitions, our relationships are often cocoons that lead us to the next. The cocoon has served its purpose. We get so understandably attached and get in conflict when it breaks or falls away, that we don’t see what it opens us to.
It’s a practice to Surrender control.
Set your intention. The key ingredient is to detach. Let go control. And most important have fun with it. Be at ease with it. When you can soften your grip and see what flows to you with an open mind, you will find that sweet balance between effort and ease and get in the flow with the universe rather than against it.
This may sound easy for something you don’t really want or need, but what if it’s something you want badly? Like a relationship? With THAT person? You and I’ve been there before. We meet someone. It’s instant fireworks. You start planning your wedding and names for your children. But then he starts to pull away. The feeling someone is falling out of like with you suckkkkks! Instead of shrugging your shoulders and saying “man, that’s a bummer. If not this relationship, then it’s opening doors for something better.” Your ego is saying “NO, this HAS to work out. we are meant for each other,” and starts to do all sorts of things to control the situation and the person. You may even convince him to stay – for a little while longer, but eventually fate will win.
Or you try to control an outcome. You outline what you want, when you want it and how exactly you want it to be delivered to you. But, you see, the universe has plans for you. it still may be that plan, but may be a different timing. Or not. Controlling keeps you from experiencing that moment as it is and keeps you separate from joy. Even if you received some of what you wanted, you may be disappointed when it doesn’t work out exactly as you wanted. You will miss the gifts the universe is giving to you.
The ego feels good when it feels like it’s in control. The things is, we aren’t in control of outcomes or people. Although it may feel good to have a projected outcome and feel in control, it doesn’t feel good trying to paste things together when they’re meant to fall apart. Or forcing something to happen, and missing the joy in the process.
The only thing you have control over is yourself – your thoughts, your emotions and your actions and words.
We’re always holding on to something – holding on to a relationship, controlling a person or an outcome, or even holding on to a certain belief or retelling a story that limits you.
Whatever it is you’re holding so tightly to, what would happen if you released it? If you were truly free from the attachment of how and when you wanted it to work out for you? it’s hard work. It takes practice to let go and stay open. It takes vulnerability. It requires you to befriend uncertainty and that you have Faith that you are experiencing what you are supposed to be experiencing right now.
By letting go, you would be free to experience what was meant for you. Not who or what you were holding onto, but what and who are really supposed to be in your life. instead of resisting the flow of Life, you will be with the flow of the Universe.