Nov 2, 2020
A Few weeks ago, I shared with you how my itty-bitty-shitty-committee was keeping me imprisoned in comparison and scarcity. That’s what happens when your mind is busy and distracted. Your vision is fuzzy and you lack clarity. Y’all know I love Oprah, and I always remind myself what she says, “stay in your own lane.”
When I was in that comparison frenzy, I lost track of who I was, my talents, what I’m capable of and why I’m doing this. I looked outside myself and felt empty inside. I wasn’t doing enough, I could never be enough. I’m a fucking loser. I know, my inner saboteur is a biyatch, and takes me to low places.
I was in such scarcity mode, that anything that taught me how I could do better, be better, make more money, have more influence was had my attention.
I almost signed up for a $2,000 course from a woman I don’t really follow on how to make $10,000 a month to market my business online and get more clients. I hate sharing this with you – it’s really vulnerable for me and makes me feel like a chump. But this is where I was at. There was so much FOMO, I felt lost and desperate and I hated myself for questioning, doubting and second guessing myself.
What’s interesting is that I had pulled the same angel card three days in a row. It read: LISTEN. Be in a receptive state to hear our guidance.
It was only on the third day, that card sunk in. I had been focusing on the wrong thing. I was stressed, confused, busy and distracted, and lost sight of who I was and what I truly wanted. Yes, more clients and money are a great outcomes, but being confident in who I am and excited in what I get to teach and share always creates a solid community of trust. And that’s what I seek!
Interestingly enough, it was a Sunday and the last day to sign up for this online course. I pulled that LISTEN card and meditated. I heard my dad’s voice, “stop the comparison and the hustle. You don’t have to harvest all the time. Life isn’t meant to be stressed and bogged down. Live with joy. Joy is your birthright.”
I truly believe we are exactly where we are supposed to be, experiencing exactly what we’re supposed to be experiencing. Our only task is to remain present and open to receive it.
The angel card was reminding me that I wasn’t present. I was distracted. I didn’t need to harvest, hustle, or learn about click funnels. I needed to be in a receptive state. I needed to go inward. I needed to realign with what brings me joy.
The moment I decided this $2k program was not right for me at this time, honestly, it was a miracle how things expanded so quickly. That morning, I had my first call with the book year program (a group of 25 women writing our books and supporting each other monthly). In our first call, I surprised myself and broke down crying, while sharing the story of my book. For the first time this year, I felt completed held and supported by 25 strangers.
The next day we had our first call with my Self Love Lab group, my online course to teach you tools to cultivate more self-love. I loved connecting with each woman to support them in shifting their limiting beliefs to serve them in positive ways. They felt held and supported, and I knew in my bones this is where I’m supposed to be.
By pausing, listening and being in a receptive state, I realized I didn’t have to do more. I needed to go deeper.
I’m on the right track with my courses. They’re helping people tremendously care and love themselves. And I need to give to myself for the next 6 months to fill up my own cup, share my story and soul tools in my book and nurture myself and baby.
This finally felt right. No pushing. No stress. No striving. Just listening. Staying open and receptive.
My invitation to you this week for our Mantra Monday is to LISTEN and be in a receptive state, so you can hear the truth and the path.
The universe is conspiring to give you all you ask. If you knew exactly what magic it has in store for you, you wouldn’t mind waiting. Trust, have faith, stay open and get ready to receive.
Self Love Lab online course with the live group coaching calls, the program is now available to purchase on my website audreysuttonmills.com Also stay tuned for my yearly signature course SOUL SCHOOL starting next year!